love and memories.

have you ever just reflected?

i love reflecting, thinking about various memories, remembering how certain events shaped who i am today.

listening to an itunes playlist i call “where did freshman year go? part a”, i had a sudden urge to just think, reflect. i do believe that one can think about past events anywhere they so desire, but i most certainly prefer being in an outdoor setting.

but today, i wanted to go further than my usual thinking spot of the front porch step. the backyard was not big enough to hold my thoughts.

i had to drive my brother to my dad’s office today so he could mow the lawn and whatnot. i didn’t really mind; i enjoy a good sunday afternoon drive. on my way home, i detoured.

dorton park was calling.

i went to swing, but alas, the swings were burning hot since it was about ninety-four degrees outside this afternoon. bad call on my part. instead, i chose to walk to my special secret spot at dorton.

honetsly, it isn’t really all that secret i suppose. it isn’t in a hidden location, and people can still see me in my spot and i can see them. i suppose it just sounds cooler to call it a “secret” spot; it makes things a bit more interesting i would say. wouldn’t you concur?

i made my way to my spot, through the sea of freshly mowed grass under the blazing sun. arriving at my spot filled me with happiness; a very simple kind of happiness.

sitting down carefully on the grass under the shade of trees and closing my eyes, i listened to all that was going on around me. the breeze gently caressed my skin with force. taking a deep breath and intaking fresh air, i felt a smile grace my face.

i thought of many things. i thought of God, jason, my future career choice, school in the fall, what’s going to happen next generally speaking.

then i thought of a time when james took me to his special spot at frank liske park. it was february 6, only hours before he asked me if i would be his girlfriend.

i may be crazy for remembering all these details, but i’m just weird like that i suppose.

we walked around frank liske for a good bit, and then he took me off of the path until we ended up standing next to a creek of sorts. with his arms around me, he told me that this was his favorite spot. i really love that memory. everything about it. the way it makes me feel, the way i remember his words, everything.

the other day i was looking through some of my yearbooks. i love yearbooks. it’s so interesting going  back and seeing what you made other people say and think about you. i read what james, sanchez, dorothy wrote. it felt good remembering those times i had in high school.

now, know that i would never go back and do high school over again…it was just nice reminiscing.

all of my memories have so much love invested in them i have found, even the ones that make me sad. thinking back on things reminds me of how grateful i need to be on a daily basis and how lucky i am to have had the experiences i had to shape me to who i am now.

i love remembering things. reflecting on things. making memories. especially with people i love.


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