a new semester.
a breath of fresh air.
i hate that i have been too busy to post on here lately; fortunately, this does not mean that i am not writing. i knocked out a few poems the other night (something about introduction to writing poetry and spanish literature is just getting to me) and have had thoughts running through my mind like crazy lately.
there’s just so much to think about, you know?
this will be a good semester, no questions asked. i’m tying up loose ends and making attempts to be productive in every sense of the word — i am determined.
example: my new years’ resolution? read all that i am assigned. so far so good..it’s going to be epic.
i know it’s only been a few weeks into the new year, as well as this new semester, but i feel like i’m truly learning so much already, and not merely in the classroom sense (although i can already feel my classroom knowledge expanding exponentially, and i couldn’t be more elated). i would be more than happy to elaborate.
i am a stage manager. that is my title for the show ‘all i really need to know i learned in kindergarten’. honestly, i was bummed that i didn’t get cast as a character, but i understood that dance marathon was a previous commitment and served as somewhat of a conflict to the show that would take away from my focus if i were to have a part.
at first, i was kind of unsure about being a stage manager. the first night of rehearsal, i felt more like a temp. i felt like i was doing menial office-like work. i felt unimportant. another evening, i simply sat at my lonely table and literally watched everything that was going on. i had nothing to do. i felt unneeded.
despite my state of complete and utter buzz kill, i shook myself awake to the reality of the situation.
of course i am important and needed.
it’s so different not being on stage. i mean, of course it is. i’ve been so used to being on the stage, being under spotlight, captivating audiences and capturing their attention — however, this is not what it is all about.
i am learning to be an active listener. to pay attention to details. to realize that stepping back and watching can be more beneficial sometimes rather than being in the midst of action. i am learning to be patient. to know that things take time.
i know these aren’t strict facts from a textbook — they’re so much more.
the last few nights since i’ve completely come to this realization have been great. i’m really enjoying taking on a completely different role in a show than what i have always been accustomed to — it’s such a quality learning experience and i know i’ll be a better actor in the end.
learning life lessons this way is more valuable than i think most people know. we need to open ourselves, allow ourselves to be transformed by these experiences.
“stay hurtable. stay human. stay open. it’s always worth it.”
john mayer always knows just what to say, doesn’t he?!