i said baby,

it’s 3am i must be lonely!

okay, not really. but it really is 3am, matchbox twenty really is a good band, and i am really still awake. honestly i don’t really know why — oh wait yes i do, it’s because i’m writing (almost done!) this spanish essay and contemplating the wonders of love — oh how my curious mind aches at the thought!

love. it’s kind of a big deal and, as a girl, it’s something i admit to thinking about fairly often..i promise, i’m working on that.

there are a lot of different ways to look at love. i mean, in other languages there are numerous forms of the verb “to love” because of their different connotations! i think that’s just so cool.

love is a lot of things: it is an action. it is an ability. it is a feeling. it is a lifestyle.

so i’m sitting here in my sundress (like i said in my last post, it’s sundress season, people) with somewhat of a sore back from sitting in this uncomfortable wooden structure known as a chair and i’m just contemplating love and all its mystery.

the spanish essay i am writing is about a narrative by elena poniatowska called el recado. the story is short and sweet and to the point and i absolutely adore it. this woman goes to see the man that she is in love with to express her feelings to him, but to her dismay he isn’t there; ergo, she waits for him and writes him a message (el recado!) telling him of her trip to see him.

in the letter she is so vulnerable, so open, hinging at the point of desperation.

..que nada entre nosotros ha sido provisional o un accidente.

…has de saber dentro de tí que te espero. vine nada más a decirte que te quiero..

pienso que te hubiera querido abrazar.

don’t you see? she is so open, so willing to tell him what she feels, so ready to take the plunge head first into this crazy vortex of love! she is discovering possibilities to love! what courage this woman portrays.

courage. i feel like that’s something that usually isn’t necessarily noted when it comes to love, but let’s be real here — you have to be brave to love.

[insert “bold as love” here if you’d like]

i really like being vulnerable. it’s kind of a natural thing for me — heck, i’m writing this blog and i’m getting ready to share it with the world wide web. that’s kind of vulnerable i’d say.

i used to always want to be more mysterious — you know, to get the guys, since guys like that and all. or something along those lines. however, i came to realize very quickly that i do a very very poor job of being mysterious. i just love telling stories and learning about people and being involved with the lives of others.

but what’s so great about being mysterious? that’s a serious question, by the way. i don’t want to go out with someone who’s super mysterious and has secrets, but hey, maybe that’s just me.

i think my favorite line in the story translates as “..that nothing between us has been provisional or accidental” — it’s beautiful, is it not? nothing between us has been provisional or accidental.

reading that i think of how God makes no mistakes, how when he brings two people together, it isn’t an accident — it’s His will.

that just blows my mind. so many things blow my mind when it comes to God and this is one of them — He puts people together for a reason! things happen for a reason and it is just so incredible how He works things out in His time.

nothing between us is provisional or accidental.

i really truly love that line. well said, ms. poniatowska, well said indeed.

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