this post is overdue. #realtalk

due to the fact that i wanted to write this initial post a couple days ago, i guess that’s where i’ll start, and then i’ll get into the stuff that i wanted to write about today. hopefully this little introduction serves as a sufficient explanation for how this post is going to read.

so valentine’s day was the other day, and what a beautiful day it was! the sun was out, i was wearing pastels (so was my boyfriend — awesome), and happiness was everywhere. i celebrated the hallmark holiday this past saturday, which was just lovely. it’s really nice spending valentine’s day with a significant other — i haven’t ever done that before, so it was most certainly a good experience that i can get used to. despite the fact that valentine’s day always focuses on couples, i think it’s important to focus on all of the people you love (i’m pretty sure i’ve written about this before; if i haven’t, i know i’ve thought about it). i celebrated valentine’s day with lots of people who are close to my heart, which i think made my valentine’s experience even richer.

i was flipping through my Bible the other night and thought back to hosea chapter 11, which talks about God’s love for israel. i went to an intervarsity event last year with two dear friends (i blogged about it, so check out a post i wrote about a year ago called “hey soul sister” if you’re interested in reading about that) and one of the girls in charge references hosea 11:8, which states:

how can I give you up, ephraim? how can I hand you over, israel? how can I treat you like admah? how can I make you like zeboiim? my heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused.

i love that! the girl at the i.v. dating event talked about how we should replace the names of those nations with our own names and know that God’s heart is changed and His compassion is aroused for us! i think that’s such a cool concept, and so i was intrigued to read some more in hosea.

i went back to chapter 2 of the book when israel is being punished by God for their unfaithfulness to him; the cool thing about this chapter though is that israel also receives restoration. hosea 2:19-20 says this:

I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD.

what a perfect valentine, right?! here we see God’s compassion and love again for israel, as also seen in chapter 11 of hosea. i feel like sometimes i forget how much God really loves us; even when we’re unfaithful, he still restores us and shows us His compassion that we truly don’t deserve.

God’s a pretty awesome valentine if you asked me.

last night i went to my first basketball game since last year, and it was for dance marathon canning purposes (not because i had a ticket..God forbid carolina athletics gives me a ticket to a basketball game). it was a lot of fun and i think we were able to raise a decent amount of money for this weekend!

this. weekend.

dance marathon is going down in a matter of days! 48 hours! AHH! i can hardly believe it. i’m so excited about this year’s marathon and can’t wait to find out how much we raised throughout this past year. trust me, there will be a post about it next week sometime after i recover with hours upon hours of the best sleep ever.

anyway, last night when i was canning rameses came up to where i was and he was taking pictures with kids and parents and families and whoever else wants their picture taken with the famous unc mascot. i love seeing that. as much as i love seeing it though, last night it got to me and made me think about jason. fortunately i don’t think about it nearly as much as i did freshman year, but when i do think about him it can be kind of overwhelming. all i could think about was how many kids jason took his picture with and how many smiles he was able to evoke while in that costume (and outside of it, for that matter).

rameses proceeded to come up to me and help me can for dance marathon and i got even more internally emotional (keyword: internally) since i was feeling these emotions about jason and his accident and how great of a person he was when he was here and then i was also feeling emotions about dance marathon and the kids and the families in the north carolina children’s hospital and it was just — a lot all at once. i’m pretty sure my mind was going a mile a minute. actually, i know it was.

once canning was done, i got an ice cream cone (smitty’s = a staple basketball game treat) and started heading back to north campus.

one of my favorite things to do is just walk. with my ipod, of course. music and stars and crisp air is just good for the soul, good for clearing the head (an ice cream cone in hand doesn’t hurt, either).

by the time i got back to my room to get my backpack to start doing work in the union, i knew my mindset was elsewhere. on the one hand, i was glad that i wasn’t feeling so bogged down with so many different emotions, but on the other hand i think we need to let ourselves feel these things. i’m pretty sure i could have just sat outside with my ipod and thought all night long, but alas, i couldn’t afford to do that. we’re always so busy, you know? there’s always work to be done and appointments to make and meetings to attend, but what about when we’re in dire need to just stop and think and feel things? just a thought.

i’ll now leave you with a playlist that i can’t stop listening to:

  1. us: regina spektor
  2. skinny love: bon iver
  3. comfortable: john mayer
  4. you were meant for me: jewel
  5. brightest (acoustic): copeland
  6. each coming night: iron and wine
  7. the rock and the tide: joshua radin
  8. i will follow you into the dark: death cab for cutie
  9. cosmic love: florence and the machine
  10. c’est la mort: the civil wars

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