I went to a UNC football game yesterday with my mom and it was the first time I had been back in Kenan Stadium since I graduated on May 13, 2012.
Despite the sheets of rain drenching the field and pounding the overhang under which I sat, a flood of thoughts entered my mind all at once. I thought about graduation and I thought about the last time before graduation when I was at the stadium — I snuck in with some friends, climbed to the roof, saw a shooting star, and had the night of my life. We went on the field that night and I taught my friends how to star trip (hilariously entertaining) and we did cartwheels on the field and tried our hardest to jump to touch the goal posts. We talked about life and our favorite Carolina memories. It really was one of my favorite nights of my entire UNC career.
Anyway, all of these memories just started coming back to me. Memories I haven’t really gotten to contemplate since I got a job. Even while walking to the stadium, we walked right by the NC Children’s Hospital and all I could think of was the four years I dedicated to UNC Dance Marathon. Once inside the stadium, with Dance Marathon on my mind, I couldn’t help but think of the four sunrises I got to see walking around the field.
With this I realized something: I wish I had more time to help people. Fortunately, my job is a job where I get to help people (kids, at that!) on a regular basis, but I just wish I was able to dedicate more time to just volunteer my services to people in need. I did that so often when I was in college and I really miss that.
The last four years of my life consisted of learning, cultivating relationships, and helping people. I loved that.
Ultimately, that’s all I want to do with my days. I just want to learn, cultivate relationships, and help people. Is that too much to ask? I love my job and I’m so happy that I’m working with kids and teaching them things, but sometimes I just wish I could go volunteer at the Children’s Hospital for a day and then go to class and learn how low pressure systems turn into hurricanes and then just spend time with people. People are SO important. I feel like I neglect the people I care about now that I’m working full-time, and that isn’t fair.
And I want to play guitar all the time. Like every day.
That is ideal. And that was kind of what college was like for me.
I don’t write this post to talk about how awesome college was and how I wish I was back in college and college was the best four years of my life, blah blah blah. I’m extremely happy with where I am in my life and I think God’s got big plans for my future, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to what’s to come. Now, I will say that college was lovely and I enjoyed every moment I had during my time at UNC, which is evident from my experiences that I had while I was there. I mean, I got to meet new people, help people, learn new things, and play guitar — how is that not a good college experience (and that’s a very abbreviated version of my time at Carolina)?!
Even though I’m missing the massive amounts of freedom that I once had with my time, I’m finding that I can rest in the fact that during the time I had, I gave all I had to give to those around me, and I plan on continuing to do that as my life progresses. I’ve been so blessed that the only response I know is to share and invest in those around me.
The glory is God’s for giving me those opportunities at UNC. Now it’s time to take what I learned about fostering relationships and serving others and live sent here in Durham.